NEIL SIMON-ESQUE STAGEPLAYS
WHERE THERE'S NO WILL
An old woman dies in 1940's Albany, leaving her fortune to
various charities. Her daughter, EMMA, accepts this fact in
stride, but her oafish husband, HAL, wants the money to purchase
a local business and do some travelling.
When Mom's lawyer, JACOBS, reveals that the old woman never
signed her will, Hal is elated. Without the will, Hal and Emma get all the money!
This is just what Emma and Jacobs want Hal to believe.
Not only did the two lovers bamboozle mother, but they have hired a hit man from NYC to come take care of Hal later in the day.
Old Aunt LIZ pays a visit, and Emma and Jacobs happily realize
that she can be a witness to the time of Hal's death, and
therefore, an alibi witness for them. Liz goes upstairs, lies
down in Emma's room. Mom's body lies in the adjacent guest
Hal's nefarious friend, NICK, discovers Aunt Liz sitting in
the upstairs bathroom, believes her to be Emma's Mom very
mistakenly diagnosed. After all, the country bumpkin DOC MORRIS
is widely known as a buffoon.
If Mom is still alive, she can finish her will, and Hal gets only a small piece of the inheritence.
Do Nick and Hal dare kill her?
How does Leon do it? How does he keep his boyish youthful good looks? Preservatives. Leon believes that if the stuff can make cheese last for nine months without going stale, just think what it can do for you skin!
GUESS WHO'S COMING TO SEDER
Verve and moxie won't get unattractive HILLY BUCHMAN, thirty-seven, a husband. It's not like the offers are pouring in, and she hasn't even been out with a man for many years.
"Made" gangster PAUL VERONEA is her last hope to have the child and family she has so desired. Her problem -- how is she gonna sell Paul to her Orthodox Jewish parents? (Also published by Baker's Plays)
BUY WHERE THERE'S NO WILL!!!
Daylight savings day
An idea originated by Leon -- why only save an hour of sunlight? Why not an entire extra day each year? So in 185 years, winter will come in June? Let our great grandchildren worry about that. Why not an extra day to catch up on all the things we never get around to doing? Think about it.